COM 101 Week 5: Interpersonal Communication

This week’s lesson, we students learnt about interpersonal relations and the focus subject is Boy-Girl Relationship, otherwise known as BGR. Let us analyze the following video clips, which I think has a good example of Interpersonal Relationship in the beginning stages, including usage of Verbal and Non-Verbal Theories. For myself, I will be focusing mainly on Mark Knapp’s Model of Relational Development as it is one of the most influential models of relationship and uses much in today’s context. Despite the clips being in Mandarin, our Non-Chinese friends need not worry, as it has English subtitles, so sit back all and ENJOY~~! Do watch the two video clips one after another to better understand the situation. =)

A Starry Night Episode 37 - New Boyfriend

A Starry Night Episode 38 - Making a Choice

Perception versus Perceptual Errors
In the first clip, the admirer (Yue Hao) had asked female lead (Cai Ling) if she met someone new. Cai Ling immediately linked to Sky (her artiste manager) and concluded that he must be the one telling him about it. Yue Hao then explains that he was the one who witness them being together. To Cai Ling it is a norm for her artiste manager to tell Yue Hao her personal matters, which influences her perception.

As for Yue Hao’s case, asking Cai Ling if she has another man in her heart, he was not presuming. He did saw them together and wanted to reconfirm if they are a couple. Therefore, I would say it is an affirmation that he wanted before revealing his actual feelings towards her.

Verbal versus Kinesics

In the first clip, Yue Hao turned his face away before looking back to ask if Cai Ling met someone new recently. We can also sense his hesitation when testing her out, and the probable reason he is having the uncertainty in him is that he may be afraid to hear the truth.

Verbal versus Oculesics

In the first clip, Yue Hao waits outside the place for Cai Ling and she looked and sounded astonished to see him. She also hesitated when he asked if she would want to invite him inside. Cai Ling seems surprised when Yue Hao questioned if she was had another man in her heart and was caught off guard when she learnt that he had witnessed them together.

In the second clip, Yue Hao confesses his feelings indirectly to Zhong Cai Ling and is eager to know how important is him in her life. However, the female lead is still unsure of her feelings, which is first noticeable through the expression of her eyes.

Verbal versus Paralinguistics
The level of assertiveness is seen through language. In the question part of the first clip, his level of assertiveness was low. When Cai Ling denies, he went on being more assertive using the fact that he saw them being together.

Later on in the second clip, Yue Hao softens his tone by giving a scenario, “All couples started off as friends”, as he wanted to know her feelings towards him.

While Cai Ling calls out Yue Hao’s name, notice that she muffled through her verbal communication, which displays her uncertainty of their relationship.


Verbal versus Proxemics
In the first clip, there is a part when the female lead’s new friend (Bo Wen) puts on the coat for her. According to Edward Hall’s four zones of personal space, I think this would be place under Intimate Distance, as both parties are at ease, whereas the Cai Ling and Yue Hao would be place under the category of Casual Distance. In the second clip, an example of which Yue Hao senses and notices the uncertainty of Cai Ling, he quickly hugs the other party perhaps to calm her feelings; however, Cai Ling could not help being uncomfortable and later on pushes him slightly away. Over here, it was one party Cai Ling, who determines the distance between herself and Yue Hao.

From the above analysis, I conclude that both Cai Ling and Yue Hao are in the Stage 2 of Mark Knapp’s Model of Relational Development called Experimenting. The affirmation of wanting to know if the female lead has someone else in her heart and the small talk between both parties are the main factors that determines the stage of their relationship.

However, I think the relationship between Cai Ling and Yue Hao  is likely to premature, and develop into the later stages of Coming Apart. That will come to the end of their relationship Stage 10. From the last part of the second clip, it shows that Cai Ling’s heart is wavering. She questioned herself, “If Li Bo Wen shows up at my door some day, will I invite him into my house without hesitation”, shows that Bo Wen has a “heavier weight age” compared to Yue Hao in her heart.

Whether will she be true to herself and accept Bo Wen is still another matter altogether.